What's the Worst That Could Happen?

Charlie and I had just come back from kennels and were asleep outside in our hammock beds. The garden was warm, the sun was out, and after several days of kennel activity, excitement and important dog business, I had reached that wonderful level of tiredness where your body is completely asleep but your brain starts wandering off somewhere else entirely.

Charlie was asleep beside me too. Completely asleep. Not one eye open. Not supervising anything.

Charlie and I had just come home from kennels. I was definitely asleep. Definitely.

I remember thinking how peaceful everything felt.

Then suddenly I was in the garden again.

Only this garden felt different.

There were people everywhere. Not just a few people either. Loads of people.

Russ's family were there. Mike's family were there. Friends were there. There were people sitting at tables, people standing near the bar, people talking near the house and people wandering around the garden.

Music was playing and chairs seemed to have appeared from absolutely nowhere.

I am fairly certain they played my favourite song, Blue Monday by New Order.

Charlie insisted he heard Blink-182 at some point.

Charlie likes to pretend he is calm and sensible, but I have seen him run around the garden like an idiot before, so I remain suspicious.

Then I smelled something.

Food.

Not normal food either. Important food.

I immediately lowered my nose to the grass because the grass itself was giving away information. Humans think they tidy up after parties, but they completely underestimate what dogs can detect.

There had definitely been sausages here. Chicken too. Possibly burgers.

Then I found evidence.

A Canarian potato.

I swallowed it quickly before anybody else noticed.

Interesting.

Unexpected.

Slightly spicy.

I carried on with my investigation.

Then I noticed people were arriving through the gate.

Obviously this required greetings.

I rushed over immediately because greetings are important. One person bent down for fuss, another laughed, and somebody else smelled like they had recently touched food.

Then Charlie appeared beside me, and Charlie had clearly reached exactly the same conclusion I had.

Food activity was taking place.

Things started becoming difficult after that.

While greeting one person I noticed somebody carrying a plate. While watching the plate I noticed somebody else had dropped food. While investigating the dropped food I became aware of another human arriving.

While greeting that human, Charlie had apparently found the original dropped food.

I moved quickly to assist.

Charlie moved quickly too.

Then somebody opened the back door.

Children appeared.

A chair moved backwards.

Somebody laughed.

Somebody bent down for fuss.

Somebody smelled interesting.

Somebody else was holding chicken.

I think at one point Russ's dad stepped backwards while I was attempting to say hello and simultaneously investigate food activity.

Then I noticed Charlie had found something.

Sausage.

Definitely sausage.

I moved in to assist because teamwork is important.

Charlie looked at me.

I looked at Charlie.

Charlie gave me the look.

You know the one.

The quiet grumbly look that says: "I noticed this first."

I considered my options very carefully.

Then I smelled chicken somewhere behind me.

I am not arguing over that when there is chicken over here.

I moved on immediately.

Then somebody else dropped something and suddenly everything felt important.

Everything required attention. Everything needed managing.

Garden security had become impossible.

Then somebody bent down for fuss and I jumped up.

Then Charlie jumped up too.

Then somebody laughed.

Then somebody moved.

Then somebody opened another door.

Then somebody else arrived.

Everything was happening all at once.

Then suddenly I woke up.

Charlie was still asleep beside me in his hammock bed. The garden was completely quiet.

No people. No music. No chairs. No food. No missing sausages.

Just sunshine and Charlie snoring beside me.

I looked over at Russ for a moment.

Maybe that's why we weren't invited.

Then I went back to sleep.

Love, wiggles, and wags,

Elsie